Tracks in the Snow...

I see red....everywhere....???

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 02:55:23 GMT

My bedroom is now red...a deep,dark red-not fire engine red-deeper,but not burgandy.I've always wanted to try out some room in the house this particular shade...but never known exactly how it would work.
It's a REALLy nice shade...yet...kind of odd to get used to...I'm sure once I get just the right bedding and curtains put in,my 'vision' will become more apparent....even to myself.
Until then...I cant help but hear "redrum,redrummmm...."

M-I-C-K-E-Y....M-O-U-S-E...

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 06:27:55 GMT

Ok....I'm entirely sick of being saturated with "The End is Near" doomsday programming on my favorite channels-The History channel,Discovery,National Geographic,all of em...I've read this stuff,looked it up,etc-I got the gist,SUPPOSEDLY everything as we know it will change in 2012 or so.
I just cant help but wonder....how healthy is it to inundate the masses with this info...repeatedly...ad nauseum??? Is it to "warn" people? Or is it to scare them???Maybe both?
Programs on basically the same info from just 2,maybe 3 yrs ago-mind you there werent as MANY...never said,as ABSOLUTELY,definitively,matter of factly-that these things WILL BE HAPPENING..they used to simply state and explore that certain peoples,cultures,individuals 'prophesied' and speculated about them...
Whether things are occurring by true natural forces that cannot be avoided, or whether things occur by the manipulation of certain forces within humanity...these are at the very LEAST unusual times we live in....
And so what do I think? What will I do...since-according to the History channel( and the 'ancient texts'...)- we most definitely face global extermination within the next few years???

I'm thinking now's a good time for Disney World,regardless.....(G)

Stocking stuffers are FUN....right?

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:19:40 GMT

I have a crab growing in my kitchen.
It's growing in a large popcorn bowl full of water on the counter.
Supposedly,this crab will grow SIX HUNDRED TIMES its original size.Not just SIXTY.600....
My seven year old is anxiously awaiting the finalization of this miracle.He checks it everytime he goes through the kitchen.So far,in the past 5 or 6 days ,the Crab has only-MAYBE-quadrupled in size.The crab is starting to get a bit 'fuzzy' (gummy?) around his edges.The cats want to drink out of his bowl.What if THEY grow 600X thier original size??
Im not sure he will be capable of making it through 596 more "moltings".
At least...not in MY kitchen.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas..and best wishes for the New year!!!

Oh my...

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 06:41:49 GMT

So....I'm still filling in blanks on my "Ahnentafel"..(which is German for "ancestor table") in looking up info on my fathers' family of Hillman/ Heilman's. Every once in a while silly things like this pop up.
Somehow...I cant help but think it's actually appropriate.... :)

A kidney stone?At 14?

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:57:03 GMT

....ok....I guess I've seen just about every medical oddity (knock on wood) via myself and my children.Nothing ought to really suprise me anymore,especially the hoops someone even WITH insurance has to hop through in order to recieve ADEQUATE care in this country right now...

     But,it has taken us just about two weeks,approx 4-5 absences, to SOMEWHAT get to the answer of what has been causing Jared a good deal of pain,discomfort and general yuckiness...which seemed to come on almost out of no where,and nothing related to an injury.
     Starting Tuesday,just before Halloween...He began complaining of left lower back/side pain. He felt "yucky" and "blah",which I think translates into-"I FEEL like I could puke-but its just not quite there yet..."He was NOT having problems going potty-either #1 or #2. It seemed to get worse as the days went on.
    Once I was sure he had NOT hurt himself by wrestling around,falling,getting hit,or moving something..and it wasnt changing,or getting better,I called the pediatrician. The receptionist/nurse person at Dr's office-after I describe everything-tells me maybe I ought to go ahead and take him to ER..since the Dr's office would prolly send him to get same testing AT hospital anyway...ok,I do that. Mind you-it had taken me ALL day to get AHOLD of an actual person in Dr's office....to tell me 'go somewhere else'.
     So I take him to ER at Mercy.ER Doctor orders a pee test.They say it looks clear.They note his heart rate runs slightly elevated...but otherwise,he appears ok.They tell me-AFTER I make it clear how he rarely complains much about not feeling well,even when sick-that it concerns me as he has begun to complain of it bothering him into the left side under the ribs...that theyre not going to do any type of imaging at this time.That they'd rather save him from being exposed to radiation if not necessary...They DO tell me its very important he do a follow up with his Dr's office ASAP,though..in order to try n figure out whats going on. Oddly,thats why I thought I had TAKEN HIM TO THE HOSPITAL FOR,AT THE SUGGESTION OF THE DRS OFFICE....I tell them this,and remind him WE HAVE INSURANCE. He consults the other ER dr..who concedes,that things are ok for now...go to the regular physician.
        OK....we make apmt. with his Dr. We see Dr.Dr's office does pee test...says it looks clear.He at LEAST orders a back x-ray-to rule out injury,spinal issues...and an ultrasound on his kidneys. We do that next day...all the while Im driving back n forth to VA-cause my Mother is back there,again...and we are STILL dealing with VA and her various medical issues.
They tell me,his results will be available in one to two days-and his Dr would be calling us. Jared is dealing with his discomfort as best as he can with regular meds(Tylenol/Alleve). He missed a good few days,but didnt want to miss more than he had to...at times he could barely move without pain...or nausea...hardly eating,etc.
       Mind you-NO ONE EVER TOOK BLOODWORK EITHER.Not the ER,not his Dr. I grew tired of waiting to hear from Drs office-called them 3 times over a few days,was told they would have a nurse call me back-and NEVER did...so I took him to OSU yesterday. They did everything....and all that showed up was a trace amounts of blood in his urine.Hmmm. They said he just MIGHT have passed a stone,or has a stone migrating...At 14???
            Woulda been nice to of known this a week earlier to tell the school...but then....that wouldve required someone CAPABLE of doing their job....
        So..at this point,all we know-is what this ISNT(doesnt look like spleen or appendix))...and vaguely what it MIGHT be(kidney stone-but not infection?)..and Jared still feels like crap...and is going to school as he doesnt want to miss anymore,etc. He is hoping to get accepted into a new program theyre starting at Shawnee...which teaches kids Engineering in a number of different fields...civil engineering,computers,drafting,aeronuatics,etc...This next semester is their first time doing this,they will only be taking 20 kids on at first...and he's very excited about the possibility.
   (The meeting for that was interesting...as they spoke of how theyre hoping to help the kids earn credit towards college for these courses,as well as internships through local businesses such as Avetec,and others which are planning to move into the area near Avetec....There was a member of the Chamber of Commerce who spoke regarding the HOPES for developement in this area regarding engineering and the aeronautics industry,through Wright-Pat and other companies,etc...and this national program for the schools is directly linked to these plans/ideas...)

            Im just still trying to figure out...how a 14 yr old gets a kidney stone....If thats what it is...?

Wow...

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:54:12 GMT

   What an incredible day...

          Obama is our new President....and this election has touched on so many fears and concerns for many people,for so many reasons,either side of the proverbial 'fence',and I have not been exempt.
I can only console myself by figuring that WHATEVER might happen to our country,will happen regardless of who's in office...there will only be variations of hows n whens and how it may be addressed...things none of US can do much about,anyhow...

       I will say....from the very beginning he has impressed me with his ability to speak and present himself SO well.....and to listen to him tonight after the election,he's proved the ability once more.
    I SO want to Believe.I want to Hope....I desire to have the luxury of Trust and Faith,in the person whom we look to guide our country to a better place than we find ourselves in today. It is long overdue...
   I am struck at how monumental a 'happening' this is....how would I have felt,to be 20,at this time...30 even...so many changes ahead,challenges as well....hopefully for the good...
   I WANT to believe in the positive potential..and not fear the unknown,the questions that loom....and to watch the faces of the people gathered there- It's easy to see this very well could be a man who just might earn the (dare I say?) Love of his nation-if he stays True to THEM...and I pray for no heartache....as it seems the ones we have adored for thier 'humanity' have often been taken too soon...
                        He has a lot of work ahead of him...as we all do...

Righteous Fury...

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:03:08 GMT

.........So,we have had our lives eclipsed,for the most part, by my Mother,her health-and the issue with the VA Fiduciary wanting to limit her access to her own benefits as a retired/100 % disabled Veteran...for almost 3 1/2 months now?
   All of this has been based on HIS 'assumption' that she is completely "incompetent" and psychotic. Where he obtained this vehemant impression,we dont know.
Never mind that the state of Ohio,and its courts,declared her competant to make important and vital decisions for her self in the early part of 2007, after a previous attempt was filed by the VA via unethical tactics.
   Nevermind all individuals who have had recent-regular- interactions with her are willing to vouch in her favor....including her previous "payee",who encouraged her to request her funds be re-instated to HER care, that he felt she was capable of paying her own bills and managing the rest.
     Many basic rights of both her,and I -as her daughter,closest family member and POA, have been infringed on,if not completly by-passed and ignored....
          The amount of stress this experience has caused is indescribable...all intermixed with the issue of her health being in such a delicate state.
                   I have been in fear of losing our home,as well as my mother being placed permanantly into a facility NOT of our choice,but THEIRS....one who would allow her medical needs to go unattended properly....this man has kept her funds "hostage" for over 2 months,recently alloting her only a very small portion of her benefits...stating that it ought "to be enough". He claims to have the "Veterans best interest in mind".Bullshit.
I have been told by her Dr's-after she was released home after rehab, that this is "end of Life" care I am being required to govern for her,and willingly so...that she will only get worse,physically....and to expect that someone needs to be available for her 24/7 for the most part,as needed. WHY not allow her some peace,allow her her benefits...and LET her spend it how she wishes! I promised my Father to care for her when he was gone..and I KNOW his ashes are just a churning in his urn over this...
  They have attempted to strong-arm and intimidate her into signing God knows what..in a lawyers office,whom we never met,and who would not speak to us-and never allowed us an opportunity to describe OUR situation and our concerns regarding this NON-"man" acting on the behalf of the dept. of Veterans Affairs. We were told to come alone-and when we didnt wish to enter the inner office and sign papers,they were pissed-threatened if we did not agree to sign the forms this man intended to present,that she would not recieve any of her money,nor would her bills and mortgage be payed.That lawyer,by law,should have required him to produce a current probate court document stating that the judge believes she is incompetant...and there IS NO SUCH DOCUMENT IN EXISTENCE...only documents stating the Clark county probate judge DISMISSED this two yrs ago with no further issue,because a COURT APPOINTED PSYCHIATRIST DECLARED HER AS MOST DEFINITELY COMPETENT,and aware of both her capabilities and limitations. This lawyer never cared to see the actual papers.
                     There have been SO many things occur, that blow my mind....especially our difficulty in finding anyone to assist us-even with answers, advice,of whether or not we were justified in feeling like our feet were stuck between the slats of the train tracks...with the train bearing down just around the bend...and the diversion lever just a few inches out of reach....I have called,and called,and pestered,and been given the ring around the rosy-and SO many "Im so sorry we completely understand your situation,and feel that there is definitely something amiss-yet it is beyond our hands/expertise/field to help/advise/or assist you in any way...Have you called so-n-so?"...only to rinse and repeat the entire diatribe again.Only to be redirected AGAIN...
                Finally....a week ago...we came to a person willing,and capable...of helping. Why we werent pointed in his direction before-I dont know. He is a VA patient/veterans advocate. The first one I contacted could do nothing-aside from...here....let me call so-n-so,I'll get back with you....to never hear from him,and when I checked back-he had nothing new to offer.
   THIS advocate guy....was willing to call the Senators (Hobson) office himself.....which got their attention.There's now a very detailed investigation occurring-least as far as I've been told. I've written up as best I can descriptions of all of this,some more elaborate, submitted forms n letters, proof of POA...proof that she just went through this crap 2 yrs ago...etc..etc...I'm to keep them updated as things progress,occur,and change...
      And of course,the asshole DOES persist...and last friday..they request that they want to do a new evaluation of her..by another VA Dr....and...she wants to do it,shes that confident of herself....and so...I let her...because,the people in the ONE dept. thinks she'll do ok..and hope that she'll put all doubts to rest with a positive result in her favor...
          Funny thing is,even though asshole guy REQUESTED it be done....she actually passed,based on what Ive been told. Tomorrow I'll find out the official report..but its been told to me that she did great...all thumbs up.

      And so in the meantime....Im mulling over...how many different possible ways ARE there....to COOK human testicles????
Because...I'm thinking...after ALLLLLL of this horseshit...and fuss,and worry,and insinuations that I somehow "know" her old payee in a personal manner ...and have manipulated her funds through "knowing" him...through me being questioned and asked what MY background might be,as though Im a criminal....after being screamed at and told by this man who has NEVER met my mother-much less the professionals and VA employees who have dealt with and worked with her to find out THIER opinions...that she is psychotic, that she had no right in deciding her wants and needs nor the ability to use her moneys as she sees fit....including her insurance policies that shes had for over 10 yrs....That she had "no business" to make a phone call TO the VA to ask simple questions regarding her situation...
                   Im thinking if all of our troubles were not necessary,she did not need these worries on TOP of recovering from a fall down a set of stairs,surgery,pneumonia-TWICE.......and Im PISSED.....And hungry.......For BBQ nut-sack.

          It will work out for the best by time its over and done with...but Id sure like to see his face,if/when he finds out she was found to be "Competent".....
      I'm hoping the positive comments I was given by the examiner himself...still stand,and the final report by the Dr. is what he indicated it would be,when I was in his office......and I pray this a-hole doesnt somehow manipulate the results to his purpose...I trust none of them anymore,no matter how sincere the smile,nor the empty words assuring me things will be ok.
    My Father was right....I now feel like Anthony Hopkins character in "Legends of the Fall" more than ever..."Fuck the Government!!"::::drool,drool:::::load shotgun,point at 'official':::squint eyes-and pull trigger::::drool,drool::::...(Yes,I still intend to vote...)
   What bothers me most,is not only has this occurred to my Mother...but I am told by several sources,that we are not the only family being put through unnacceptable treatment by this supposed field investigator...there are others.....and some of them have been bullied to the point of giving up-giving up thier rightfully earned benefits,if not the family member themselves-to a "VA contracted home"....
    I want justice for them,as well as my Mom.I want this man fired...as well as his supervisor,and whoever else had condoned,instigated-or encouraged these methods and unproffesionally abusive and negligent tactics. He was obviously given an objective-and told "no holds barred" in obtaining that objective....
    I will pursue this matter...I will demand answers,I will not satisfy with simple apologies,I want restitution for all effected...I will swear upon whatever sacred books they offer me to swear upon,and I will uphold my words to my fullest capabilities...we have done no wrong,my mother deserves better-I will push it to Federal courts if need be....
   If they do this to HER, and to other vulnerable veterans...all in the name of "cutting costs",the dollar being the bottom line ,(to put a disabled/retired 100 % connected veteran in a VA approved home costs LESS than half of her benefits) then where does it end? If they tell her what she can and cant spend her benefits on,and she ISNT gambling it away,doesnt have a single credit card..only a mortgage and needed utilities,cable,trash,etc...what will they tell all the OTHER veterans they can and cant have???

        Of all the times I wish I was a 'stick-jockey'...it sure would feel good to beat upon someones rear flank right about NOW...(G) Repeatedly...as nauseum...

                       Updates will be forthcoming....

Comfort amidst the chaos...

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:34:23 GMT

Havent posted in a while....things have been insane in the past few months,ever since my Mother fell down the basement steps.
     My head has not stopped spinning from all of this...and Im beginning to wonder if it ever will,new and improved insanity keeps blowing my way via the VA,etc...though, I've had some very unexpected and oddly suprising 'encouragement'....for lack of a better way to describe it, from the "other side".
    Until I have more time to write things out better...let's just say-I have no doubt my Father is watching over us all,during this time...and it is such a rare and treasured blessing. I consider myself very lucky to of experienced it all...and he has 'done' this sort of thing before since his passing...
   I dont care what you believe,or why, in my experiences-I am certain...that at the very least...our 'energies' carry on...and remain connected to those we care about.....until no longer needed...
            My Mother WAS doing beautifully, recovering from her injuries and surgery...was on schedule for release from the "rehab" center this Tuesday....but apparently she came down very ill over the weekend, and by the time I went to pick her up on Tues. morning....I immediately left the center-and took her to an emergency appointment with her regular Dr. We were instructed to get her to the ER ASAP for a chest x-ray....in which case,I refused to take her to Community OR the VA,but to OSU...and sure enough,it was pnuemonia AGAIN...it prolly was never completely out of her system to begin with,really.
    They were wonderful at OSU....snap,crackle n pop...they did more for her in the first hour n half she was in their ER than it took Community to do for her over the course of the first 4 days after the fall....she was admitted almost immediately without debate...and is there still,for how long I do not know. According to her nurse this morning...she had a very rough night last night.....
          I've got legal errands to run today regarding all of this...and might be going up to Columbus later to see her....
   Will try and write a full catch up on here later on..it just seems the river of bul&^%$ never stops flowing....yet I want to describe this beautiful gift I recieved.....at just the most needed time....from my Father,before I forget anything...
                  It's something I've been searching for for years....something he had told me about since I was very young,and I had found pieces,but no real evidence or concrete info...until now....and the manner in which it came to me is so ironically perfect....it truly is a full circle come round, at the oddest of times.
                       http://dwbarnett01.www.50megs.com/You.htm    ....this is a link, to where it first starts.After you click out of the distracting yahoo page pop ups, and watch the fading series of pics...watch for the one with the bride sitting in between a little girl and boy.  The little girl is me at 2 1/2 or 3, and the bride is my half-sister...from my Fathers first marraige.She and I hadnt spoke or seen each other since I was maybe 14 or so. I was sent this link,and told there might be someone i'd recognize on it-and I had never seen that picture of myself...but I remember that day very vividly.
   I was flower girl...and had performed my duty as such,and turned right around at the foot of the steps,and ran as fast as I could back down the aisle,out the door,and down the street to my sisters house....because I had been scolded for playing with the ringbearer n chatting too much amongst the pews. His mother had told me God knew when we were naughty or nice...and I just KNEW I was screwed.I had visions of a very angry "God" walking out onto the pulpit waiting just for ME,cracking his knuckles,preparing for a Holy paddlin'.
Once back at my sisters house,I ripped off the dress,put back on my Bugs bunny t-shirt n shorts,and hid in the laundry hamper...till my mother found me,absolutely livid....(G)
The site was made for her by her husband David, whom I adored as a child,for their anniversary several yrs ago....and for the past week or two,I've had almost daily contact with them via email...learning more about my Father,and our Family,extending to centuries past. I am just so humbled,and proud...and Thankful to them,and to my Dad.
I had googled my fathers full name one night,for the hell of it,really hoping to find some possible military records or info on him-something that might could help with my mother and the VA,maybe...and to my surprise a website on geanology came up,with his name,and mine,and other family I recognized.The creator of the site is my sister and her hubby.I wrote them an email,hoping they wouldnt be wierded out....and it's as if my Father wished us to regain contact....and I've learned so,so much....they've sent me pics of family I've never seen,articles,links,etc...and with just the info THEYVE given me I've been able to stumble onto more...
                                     On top of a trip to Scotland...I must now visit Germany,without a doubt....

List of things I need to do this week while NOT preparing for Pennsic :(

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:03:56 GMT

1) Meet with Lawyer in order to set up full Power of Attorney/Gaurdianship of my Mother...Im already medical POA..but we need FULL shabang...because...as I feared,based on past experience,our lovely GOVERNMENT seems to like trying to cut ALL corners in their "budget" costs.Including -sniffing around whenever one of their own 100% disabled Veterans isnt doing so hot...and tryin to figure out how they can manage to "care" for them for less money than they're been previously recieving....i.e. She goes into hospital for WHATEVER reason...the VA "higher ups" get all excited cause they might be able to sweep her under the rug this time,and send someone out to "investigate" the situation....while shes recovering from surgery....Hmmmm...

2) Go and make un-announced visits to various rehabilitation facilities in area,as-shes doing VERY well considering her injuries/pnuemonia/MRSA infection...yet..shes not quite ready to come home,but doesnt really need to be in actual hospital any longer...

3) Paint Donovans bedroom,remove all of Donovans things..move Mothers things INTO his old room for permanant occupation...rearrange Jareds stuff-some going downstairs into finished basement area as a general work room for all now....as he n Donovan will share one room,at least for sleeping,until attic is done...

4)Contact various local agencies to find out what all I need for any and all possible services available for someone like my Mother when thier home needs to be altered in certain ways to help make it more accessable for elderly/disabled persons...simple things like support railings where needed,bathroom use/access issues,etc...as well as possibly a ramp off the back porch and a new parking area off to the left side of the house.....Medical bed,possibly?

5) All rearranging leads into the attic being completely cleaned n cleared ASAP...as...the need for 2 more bedrooms being constructed up there is a priority NOW.....

6) Also find out from Gaurdian lawyer chick..who needs to be spoken to regarding the care-or lack there of-that Mother recieved while in Community Hospital before being transferred to VA...it was literally frightening.It was concerning to many who came into contact with us during her stay there-including some of thier OWN employees.She mentioned she could refer me to some very good representation for that sort of thing....

7) Make/reschedule various appointments for numerous things needed to be done for me n the kids regarding health,dental,and house repairs etc that have been dropped or put on back burner because of unforseeable Mother disaster...

8)Pull my hair out.Individually.While counting.......One.....two......three.....

9) Wish I could be going to Pennsic,enjoying everyones company,sharing the experience with Jared....:(

10) Smother someone in thier sleep.Because-somehow....they probably deserve it...Grrr....

Movies

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:27:17 GMT

"Hancock"...>I< liked very much....had a suprise twist in it,somethin a little different in the storyline....different than you expect walking into it.
"Batman".........very long.Almost too long.Heath did a good job on his part...yet....I had issues with some of it overall.Especially the part where the head of the mob guy is walking around as if nothing was wrong with him,when only scenes before Batman had dropped him from several floors off of a building-not to kill him but specifically to break his legs.....I dunno...perhaps Im supposed to suspend ALL disbelief when watching a "superheroe" movie?
    Moms infections and arm with plates n pins-I suppose,are under control. Now her 4 broken ribs and cracked vertebrae may become something of interest....I just hate that >I< have to keep reminding the people in the hospital that she needs to have oxygen on at all times....otherwise her O2 saturation can drop into the 60's n 70's...among other things......
                      Off to a thousand and one chores......Yeehaw...

Donovan's day...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 06:51:47 GMT

Well.....in the midst of my Mothers major crises thanks to the 12 steps in our garage....Donovan and Brittany tried out for parts in a play,"Jack and the Beanstalk"...for the Springfield Arts Festival...in Veterans' Park....
    They both had been looking forward to the auditions for over a month prior,but when my mothers accident occurred,I wondered if it would work out.Try outs were the Monday after her Sat. night fall.I opted to go ahead and see how it went, and allow them the opportunity to keep some semblence of a normal 'schedule' n activities...
     Brittany was the one most insistant in going,and-as Murphy would have it-Donovan was picked for a part,and she wasnt. I had discussed this possibility with them prior-but she was still a bit salty over it at first...
   I believe there were approx. 130 children who auditioned...and about 60 were chosen for in front,and behind,the curtains... As luck would have it-oddly-Donovans small part was entitled "The Gambler". ...Jeff was amused....I was.....struck by the irony?
        The week of rehearsals actually couldnt of been more perfectly timed-if that doesnt sound odd-or maybe I should say,her fell came at the right time? Not sure if theres a right way to say that...as...They wanted the children dropped off each morning at the Heritage Center by 9:30 am ,with a packed lunch,and retrieved by 2 pm....it allowed me to have one less to fret over for some of the visits to the hospital for Mom,and all other related errands,etc....Jared came home at 11:15 on Wed. and I only had the one child to check with me past the airport gate....it made things easier in the long run...
   The whole experience for him was just wonderful....he loved it,and couldnt refrain from telling us all the things,exercises,activities,lines n songs they went over each day....and it was hard to listen knowing Brittany had had her hopes up for it. She was too big for the 'little' kid parts,and not big enough for the 'older' kid parts...for females...
            The young college couple who were in charge of this play were awesome with the kids,and are part of a traveling Childrens Theater troop...from Missoula Montana...who through this and other teams work with kids all over the US and a number of other countries...I was actually impressed with what they accomplished in just one week,and the amount of children-some of whom probably had not done anything like this before....
         Donovan proved me right,in that I had kind of figured he would feel at home doing this sort of stuff...as it gives his natural "Haminess" a positive outlet....he made me proud in keeping alert to his "cue" and seeming to remember the words n motions with each group song....
       I just dont know if he'll survive his sister Scorpio's jealousy later in the evenings....once he's asleep....(G)
Heres a few of the photos ...thought I'd share since I was transferring the pics...

Jared...after show....oh so enthused...

Does a unicorn face painting make up for things?

ARRRRGH!!!!....

What do you do...

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 05:03:06 GMT

       What do you do once you've witnessed something you've been fearing for so long..I guess it no longer hangs in the air above you, haunting and teasing you...Once youve experienced it-it's almost like you no longer let it bugger you......well,it STILL bothers you..just differently. Like when you know someones hiding around the corner,in the dark..somewhere..but you're not sure WHICH corner..or WHEN they'll decide to pop out...the anticipation is worse than the actual "BOO!!"....
           At least this time it was...I hope.....
              My Mom finally did what I've feared for years...what shes been warned of...yet she stubbornly insisted she could still do....She fell down the stairs in our basement,despite being told she should NOT be using those stairs any longer. She can be stubborn,honory,and at times like a child....which is probably  the exact reason she will outlive even her Grandchildren.
   I was about to take a bath, had candles lit...was going to order a movie,and enjoy the first child-free evening in quite some time...when I heard my Mother in the stairway,at first there was the sound of a cup drop at first..then I heard her say "Uh Oh.." and then there were approx. 2 loud bumps...booms?ka-thunks...? as she went down the steps...and hit the wall near the bottom. I called for her immediately...I knew what had happened.She didnt respond..I called again before I opened the door to garage...and I paused,for just a moment...before opening the door......I admit to having to prepare myself for the sight....I KNEW it couldnt be good.

It wasnt...nothing about it was....she was not "coherent" .She didnt respond other then intelligable moans , shaking,and heavy breathing..I told her not to move-though I knew she couldnt,and went to get the phone to call 911.
In the time it took me to round the corner and get a phone from living room then get back to her there was a puddle of blood surrounding her on one side,but not from her head,luckily. It was coming from one of her arms...and as I spoke to 911 and was describing things...she became sick all over herself...while lying on her back,it went just like a volcanoe....and all in her hair...I'm describing this...as its happening...I get towels from in laundry area...to try and clean her/cover her in case of more escaping liquids....but keeping in mind,as they insisted-I CAN NOT move her head,or anything,in anyway...which is just awful...because no one should ever see this,thier own mother,lying in such a way...She had managed to fall into a large bowl of water,and another full of 9 lives,that we keep as secondary source for the cats if they go downstairs....she was soaked,and there was food everywhere on her...in her hair...all around her,on her face,etc...getting mushy from the water and vomit....I cleaned what I could...and waited for paramedics...for what seemed FOREVER......and she finally began to be able to talk coherantly.....and could tell me what hurt...etc...
        It took the squad what seemed like 20 minutes..maybe longer,to arrive.....They were great with her,but they had to call in several more to help get her onto a board,because of the awkward way/place in which she landed ....
        I didnt leave the ER till maybe almost 4 last night...had to clean a pretty mess on floor in garage before shower....then couldnt sleep till maybe 5:30....I slept maybe 4 hours..got up,got ready,went back to hospital....
     Both her arms are null and void, the left one requires surgery-it is broken at the elbow,the other is fractured above wrist and not as severe....shes complaining of her back hurting on left side,they said her hips n legs are ok.I had to REQUEST further x-rays and an MRI if possible as late as this afternoon,because-apparently nothing was ordered regarding her ENTIRE back,ribs,etc.....it was her head n neck-arms and hips. ..even though she and I TOLD them her back hurt repeatedly...
            Its all very frustrating....and with it being the weekend,things were worse,as there was only one Dr in ER,apparently......
         She wants transferred to VA hospital for surgery....I do NOT want her to go there after last diabacle with them...Wright Pat was mentioned by surgeon from here,otherwise she will have it here on Tuesday...
   As of this afternoon she was very confused and loopy and apparently combative with the nurse,the aide,and her roomate,in terms of a thoroughly pissy attitude.......which I had to explain...shes on certain meds for certain reasons,and the morphine might be mixing in a wierd way.....
                    Tomorrow will be a busy day....as I figure out where-and if-she'll be transferred anywhere else....as well as,once her VA case manager hears the news....I may be needing to brace for another barrage of VA doo-doo like the last time....which will completely annoy me to no end,and may require talking to her lawyer...in order for me to enforce my medical power of attorney...
          I'm not sure what all of this may entail....Im not even sure of the full extent of her injuries-which is absurd to me in itself....
         A lot of things will be changing from here on out....and to what extent and exactly in what ways Im not sure yet....

Scary,eh...

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:11:28 GMT

View from the door of local classroom? Sometimes I wonder....
I truly consider the possibility of homeschooling,pros n cons,etc...every year about this time...

EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 05:09:24 GMT

You might remember when this accident happened 8 years ago this March.

This Southwest Airlines flight from Vegas overshot the runway at
Burbank .

The plane smashed past the airport fence, careened across the
street and ended up with a collapsed landing gear, right next to a
gas station.

But that's not the amazing part!!!

Hmmmm...

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 03:30:23 GMT

"Mongol" looks interesting....Hopefully better than "The Happening"...

Things I stumble across....

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:52:16 GMT

I find this interesting for several reasons....one of which is I remember my Father telling me he chose my middle name not only for its Irish connotations(Tara),but because spelled backwards it also referred to Mt. Ararat...He told me of this as we watched some documentary program in search of Noahs Ark,back when I was a child....... He was an odd one...
THE SACRED HOMELAND

Land of Gods And The Cosmic Mountain

Aratta- The Land of the Mountains Where the Gods Live of the great Epic of Gilgamesh. The Land where the Garden of Eden— the Tree of Life and the Tree of Wisdom is located… the Twin peaks of Mashu – the SYMBOL of the holy Cosmic Mountain. When many of us hear this name we picture the birth and rebirth of humanity and human civilization in the sacred land in the highlands of Armenia. The Bible also recounts the ancient storied of Genesis, including the Paradise [ Birth of Humanity ] and also the Rebirth of Humanity in the sacred Mountains of the Land of Ararat, the holy land where the resurrection of the human race took place. The twin Peaks of Mount Ararat are in the heart of Armenia, and from a bipolar geographical objective one can argue that of the world. They are symbolic of the Holy Mountains of the Land of Aratta/Ararat [ Kuti-Buti-mountain range in the Sumerian inscription and the Al-Judi of the later Islamic writings] --- the location of Ararat/Ararad in the Korduk Procince in the southern section of the Armenian Plateau [ The Twin Peak Masis in the Ayrarat Province being the SYMBOL of Armenia-Ararat ---Land of the Holy Mountains ] . Since times immemorial Ararat [also Ayrarat in Armenian sources, Aratta in Sumerian inscription, Urartu in Assyrian inscriptions and Ararat in Hebrew sources [ the reference in the Book of Jubilees states: ‘Ur built his city after his won name Ar.A’ in fact the Sumerian city of Ur was alternatively known as ARA which stood for the Solar Deity in the Armenian Pantheon and in Sumerian means Shining and also City implying the fact that the very Civilization is associated with Light/Knowledge/Sun ] has been a Holy Mountain and a Holy land for the peoples of the ancient world. The Sumerians that were of Armenid extraction had established one of the first centers of civilization in the lower part of Mesopotamia. They were the descendants of the shamanic high priests of ARMAN – ARAM of Subartu-Aratta of Metsamor (Medzamor), Ur-Hai [ Urfa, later Edessa the ORION center], Harran, Gobekli Tepe [Navel Mountain – translation of ancient Arman name associated with Female + Male union], Nevali Cori, Cayonu and Catal Huyuk. The Sumerians inhabited Armenian Highland and gradually descended to first Northern Mesopotamia and eventually spread further south, establishing the cities of Ur [ excavated by Sir Leonard Wooley in the 1920s] , Uruk and Eridu [ note the sacred AR-MAN variations --- AR-UR-ER-OR prefix]. Fortunately a number of Sumerian inscriptions dating from somewhere between 2750 and 2500 BC have been preserved. They give us fascinating glimpse into the Sumerian origins and culture. In the great EPIC OF GILGAMESH , the Sumerians recount THE LAND OF THEIR ANCESTORS, THE ARATTANS IN THE HIGHLANDS OF ARMENIA. The Epic of Gilgamesh written ca. 2700 BC, tells us the story of the GREAT FLOOD and the rebirth of Life [ the Tree of Life or the Garden [ PARTEZ – PARADISE – the main motif in the Armenian – Hurrian – Mitanni – Araratian reliefs ] of Eden located in Armenia – the Land of Four Rivers. Aratta [ Subari- Sumerians also known as Suberians and called themselves Shinar[ar]s was in fact the first Indo-European state that existed in the first half of the third millennium BC. Land of Nairi (Armenia) literary means the Land of Waters and Fire – that is symbolic of the Armenian Highland of many rivers and lakes and the fiery volcanic mountains- with Tigris and Euphrates originating in the sacred highlands and flowing downward to south thus nourishing and giving Life to the land between the two rivers and the Fertile Crescent that is otherwise surrounded by scorching deserts. The Sumerians note that the their ancestors the Arattans – from AR-AR-AR. AR-AR [Ararich – the Creator] being a plural form or the Supreme God. According to the Sumerian inscriptions, the Arratan ancestors established a divine Kingdom and civilization, and ultimately carried it to the four corners of the world –including among others the Sumerian cities of Ur [in Sumerian Ur or ARA literally means Shining/Bright/Light the Solar Deity in the Armenian Pantheon carries that name] and Uruk. The inscriptions also tell us that the Arattans were outstanding horsemen – the tradition of the Armenian warrior horsemen [the Ayrudzi] would continue down the many millennia, distinguishing itself in the battlefields.

The Armenid Sumerians’ primary deity was the amphibious God EA-HAYA. The God of Wisdom with the appearance of half-man half-fish.

Son of Haya, was Dumuzi symbolic of the sacred – ORION – in the Armenian priestly astrology representative of Hay[a]k -- Child of God HAYA-EA [Eut’iwn]. The Armenian Temple City of Urha – Orrheone [later Urfa ] being one of the most important ancient centers of the solar cult of Orion [ Hayk ] renowned throughout the ancient world. The Armenic Sumerians used the ancient name Uru-anna [lit. the Light of Heaven]. In Armenia, the same place as described in the Bible as being where Nimrod [ Nemrut ] built his major cities we find the origin of the celestial cult of Orion.

Aldebaran is one of the easier stars to find in the night sky, partly due to its brightness and partly due to its spatial relation to one of the more noticeable asterisms in the sky. If one follows the three stars of Orion’s belt from left to right [in the Northern Hemisphere ] or right to left [in the Southern], the first bright star found by continuing that line is Aldebaran.

Astrologically, Aldebaran was a fortunate star, portending riches and honor. This star is one of the four “royal stars” of the Armenic ancestors. As the star of illumination, Aldebaran irradiates the Way using the applied power of transformation. In seeking illumination, we can cultivate the ability to use the mind as a reflector of soul light. The other three Royal Stars are Antares in the constellation Scorpio the Scorpion, the Western Royal Star, Regulus in the constellation Leo the Lion, the Northern Royal Star, and Fomalhaut in the constellation Pisces Austrinus, the Southern Fish - close to the constellation Aquarius - the Southern Royal Star. This brilliant star, has been used for centuries in navigation, and is known by many civilizations to be connected with the spirits of rain and the fertility of the Earth. Approximately 5000 years ago, the rising of Aldebaran marked the vernal equinox and was the beginning of the astronomical New Year.

The Age of Gemini brought about the worship of the twin-gods symbolized by the Twin Mountain [ -Mount Masis being but a prominent symbol – of the Land of Ararad/Ararat]. The later off-shoot Phoenician, Egyptian, Babylonian, Assyrian and Verdic cultures are testimony to the cult of the Twins [ Sanasar and Baghdasar according to the archetypical arcane Cosmic Epic – The Daredevils of Sasun, born from Tsovinar - Creatrix Mother Goddess Quantum Ocean of Life] –born of the mating of the universal male principle symbolized by the Sun and universal female principle symbolized by Earth and the Moon. Since Gemini is the sigh of writing and communication, we find that new languages were discovered and spread in this time. The Armenic Arattans and Shinar-[ar]-s [Sumerians] were the first to have the divine art of writing- spreading it to all parts of the globe.

Sources: Martiros Kavoukjian - Armenia, Subartu and Sumer

Gevork Nazaryan - www.ArmenianHighland.com

Home - Aratta Kingdom - Sumerian Epic Tales - The Location of Aratta - Aratta and Ayrarat - Links - Feedback - About Us

Once again...

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 09:49:02 GMT

...I am awakened at 5 am and sleep eludes me....

Cant figure it out....::::Sigh:::::.....

5 am....

Wed, 28 May 2008 10:07:38 GMT

Not sure what it is, but for the past few days...I've been waking up right at about 5-ish am...feeling "refreshed" , and definitely as though I ought to be getting up.Of course,it catches up with me later on...
     Normally I go to bed somewhere round 11-12-ish,get up between 6:30 (earliest) to 7:15 (latest,after hitting snooze once,ok..maybe twice..) There are SOME nights Im awake much later...but it's all good...
      Yet,usually,if I awake an hour-two hours "Early" first thing I do is usually roll over,close my eyes again and Thank God Ive got another hour+.....
     Here the past few days,try as I might...I can NOT get back to sleep....I toss..n turn..n try..go to potty...get back in bed..try some more...then before I know it..I might as well get up...Why so restless?
    Is it cause "Dawn" is happening earlier....??Its gettin lighter,earlier..? (I have my room with windows covered like a cave...so it shouldnt matter)
       Damn birds.....they entice me to the day with thier incessant twittering....Think I'll go for a walk...::::sigh:::::

A gorgeous.....quiet...day...Whatever shall I do???

Sat, 24 May 2008 15:35:36 GMT

Nice to have a relaxing weekend after it seems we've been busy running for a number of them before...No games for ME to be at,no where for us to go, No intrusive lumbering visitors....(G) .....Think I'll take Jared on down to Barnes n Noble....and Half price books....maybe swing on through Yellow Springs....
     Trying to decide if I want to purchase a treadmill,or spend the money on a membership at a club...pros n cons to both...
              Need to finish cleaning out my garage n attic...burn a WHOLE lot of wood stuffs...bon fire tonight,me thinks...might decide to mosey on up tomorrow for Crown...not sure....we'll see.....
                                     Hope everyone elses weekend is good... :)

Indiana Jones...

Thu, 22 May 2008 07:13:11 GMT

Was very,very good....loved it,but then Im partial. The character,the music...all make me extremely reminiscent of my Father.....who also loved the films very much so....He is who took me to watch them ,and I can remember him laughing so hard at particular moments...I think because he'd been there,done-something similar...?
      He was OSS....as Indy had been apparently..and could tell a few "narrow escape" tales with all the familiar back drops n places found in the stories of Dr.Jones...the times frames,political overtones/climates...
           The plot line in this one follows along with some interesting theories,which could throw some people but oddly enough DO keep in the ideas n themes of the other ones...

                     I'll see this again....prolly sooner than later.......
                               I'm sure Dad liked it,too...and it thrills me that Jared has also become so fond of the movies,too....He's already planning to wear a fadora for Halloween this year.... :)

Home away from home..

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:55:18 GMT

Lookin at viking tents....thinking about purchasing one soon...maybe...hmmm.......

My thoughts on this weekend...

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:09:22 GMT

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. ....

If this is True,I suppose I've yet to find it......always liked the words,though...

Heart strings..n valves...n chambers...n flow..

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:20:02 GMT

Go in morning for a cardiologist apmt...First in about 3 years now...in order to check up on things,etc....arrythmia-wise,and regurgitatin valves,etc...All of it was minor enough way back when that they only prescribed Toprol and Atenolol....though,I felt those made the symptoms worse..therefore I quit taking them-as suggested by the Dr's themselves.
     We shall see if theres been any further progression with any of it...Have an echocardiagram,EKG n I believe a stress test....Lots o fun....weeeeee....

Cozy...

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:56:02 GMT

.....Just finished watchin first Harry Potter with chitlins,was on regular TV,and even though we own a complete DVD collection I was taken back again by how young they all were then,and became caught up remembering how young MINE were,when first movie came out...
   The oldest n middle are now asleep...youngest had gotten into my bed to snuggle n finish end of movie...then he decided he wanted to brush my hair FOR me,before bed..and..as I type..he still is brushing,as I finish up checking mail n poking online on laptop..."Two hundred and eighty-eight...two hundred and eighty-nine...two hundred and NINETY..." etc...etc...etc...I kid you not.
   If I turn around to ask him if he's tired yet, or how LONG does he intend on brushing...he looks at me with impish smile and puts his finger to his lips to motion "Shhh...I'm counting"...
          I am truly blessed....... :)

Copy cat...er...dog...wait a minute,Im a SLOBBERY dog!!

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:41:13 GMT

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The Comedian

You may look like the troublemaker of the pack, but it turns out your tough guy mug is worse than its bite. You're really a softie, loyal to your friends and family and A-OK with meeting new pooches, but you prefer to do so with a high-five instead of a paw-shake. Proud of your great sense of humor, you've got a whole litter of jokes you draw from to keep the mood playful and the positive energy alive. A perfect afternoon for you involves a leisurely stroll with a pal, followed by a little downtime in an easy chair with a frosty can of brew and a remote control within easy fetching distance. You shed accusations of being lazy, knowing perfectly well that you're kenneling the energy you might need for... well... something. Learn more »

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